


Lonesome Werewolf

by Sagus



Category: Touhou Project
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-02
Updated: 2015-08-02
Packaged: 2018-04-12 16:12:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,057
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4486191
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sagus/pseuds/Sagus
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kagerou's life always seemed to lack something. A half-youkai doesn't have its purpose clear-cut for them, after all. With thoughts about the meaning of her life swimming on her head, the lone werewolf finds herself on the Misty Lake, to distract herself with her good friend. Oneshot, pure fluff.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Lonesome Werewolf

Kagerou never really considered her bamboo crafts “art”.

Curing, cutting, whittling… she was taught the family trade ever since she could walk on her own. Every year, during the middle of the winter, her grandpa would take her to the Bamboo Forest of the Lost, hook in hand. He’d shown her which plants were healthy ( _“Watch for black mold or the webbin’s of mealybugs”_ ), and how to cut down the giant stems in quick, precise slashes ( _“Be sure to lay ‘em down careful, pup”_ ). He’d then the pass the hook to her, so she could remove the branches, cut the tip, and divide the rods into five or six parts, to snuggly fit them in her grandpa’s basket. They’d repeat the process two or three times before going back home, Kagerou’s little hands aching from the hard work.

She wouldn’t be allowed near the furnace until she was twelve, but she had already learned the whole curing process from watching her grandpa’s slow, meticulous work. Keeping the bamboo rod over the hot coals, patiently waiting for the sap to leave, watching for the little bubbles forming on the surface of the plant before wiping them away with a piece of cloth ( _“Never wait too long, pup, or it’s back to the coals with it”_ ), slowly turning each node’s vivid green into a yellowish tint before finally setting the rods aside … it had all been engraved on her mind, long before she began doing it herself.

Once her hands were dexterous enough, her grandma began teaching how to turn the yellow poles into things people would be willing to pay silver for. Shakuhachi were her family’s specialty. The bamboo with good bore shapes would first be cut into smaller parts ( _“Each one shaku and eight sun, girl, don’t forget”_ ); then, a small metal nail would be heated and used to drill the instruments’ holes ( _“Drill one, two fingers up, drill other. Four on top, one bellow. Pay attention!”_ ). The blowing edge was always the easiest part; a quick cut, some sanding, a bit of wax, and it’d be done.

More important were the adornments. Each individual flute had unique designs, delicately carved with a small chisel and a weeks’ worth of patience. Patience that a young girl like Kagerou didn’t quite have, in the beginning. She still had a few markings on her back, courtesy of her grandma, from the first times she tried to create a pattern and ended up with only splintered bamboo as a result. Even after she turned into a youkai, they hadn’t faded.

As she grew older (and her grandparents weaker), she took over the whole production. She branched out a bit, making not only flutes but candle-holders, flower vases, and “those things that go ‘doink’” (deer-chasers, but the way that inchling once described them was really charming, she thought). Her wares were considered of good quality, and ever since she became a werewolf, her enhanced senses of sight and tact even in human form allowed for far more intricate details to be embedded in her crafts. Whenever she returned from a sale at the Human Village, her basket would always be lighter than it was when she left her home in the morning.

Yet, for all the praise Kagerou received for her craftsmanship, for all that she had learned, trained and honed her skills during her whole life, she never really considered her works “art”.

Each object was made following a recipe. Specific, immutable steps. From the cutting to the carving, it was always, at the core, the same process. The patterns adorning each piece might’ve been unique, but they were all carefully chosen to cater to costumers’ preferences. There was nothing of her in the flowering shapes surrounding the holes of her shakuhashi; the little deer grazing idly at the base of the shishi-odoshis’ support didn’t really mean anything, other than an ironically pretty adornment for the device. They were beautiful, and filled her purse with enough yen to sustain her modest life style (specially now, with her grandparents long gone), but the work felt mechanic. Hollow.

Yeah… meaningless. Perhaps it was her youkai side speaking, but Kagerou felt as if her life lacked purpose. As if she were… living in the wrong way. A werewolf should be prowling forests at night, howling at the full moon and striking fear in the hearts of man to justify its existence. It wasn’t right for a lycanthrope to be confined to an old hut in the border of a bamboo forest, making little toys for humans.

Humans that would be polite, and praise her skills, and smile warmly while at the same time avoiding her red eyes ( _“They used to be such a pretty brown…”_ ) and excusing themselves as they did their best to leave quickly after a purchase ( _“Isn’t it full moon today? I gotta be home early, sorry...”_ ). She had always preferred to stay at home, but ever since she was bitten, she would only leave the house for trading, being content with the non-judgmental company of a book. Sometimes, she felt as if it would be best to just shut herself inside and remain there forever ( _“You’re definitely a lone wolf, pup”_ , her grandpa would laugh, winking at her before shrinking under the disapproving gaze of her grandma).

Still, once a month, the full moon would shine in the sky, and Kagerou’s youkai blood would awaken. Not having been born a werewolf, the physical mutations from her transformation were smaller than a pureblood’s; sharper teeth, wolfish ears, auburn fur covering her arms, legs and chest, and a bushy tail were all that marked her as non-human. Her mind was, mostly, her own; she didn’t succumb to bloodlust as the beast that bit her did, but she always had the urge to leave her home and run through the groves. The house would feel too small and restrictive, and her heart would beat restless, her heightened senses perceiving thousands of smells and sounds to which she was entirely oblivious during other days of the month.

For one night, her mind would be at peace, content in her aimless wanders through Gensokyo, dueling any human, youkai or fairy that got in her path. The fast-paced fights and the speed with which she ran through the fields would calm her heart until morning came, when her human self would return and, with it, all the worries she had left behind in the previous night.

\------------------------------------------

It wasn’t the night of the full moon yet, but Kagerou found herself walking down the path that led to the Misty Lake as the sun set down, the shakuhachi on her lips blowing a soft tune. The chatter of fairies was being gradually replaced by the chirping of insects, the songs of the night sparrows, and the occasional growling of the waking youkai. She could feel their gaze as she entered the forest, looking curiously at this human that smelled strangely like them. They never left the shadows of the trees, but Kagerou could see the yellow and red lights of their eyes in the corner of her vision.

As she approached the lake, a melodious voice rose to meet the music of her flute. A smile grew on the werewolf’s lips as she searched for her friend. The large expanse of water, as indicated by its name, was covered in thick mist, making it hard even for someone with her sharp vision to see two feet beyond the shore.

Finally, Kagerou noticed small ripples in the lake’s surface, betraying her friend’s location. She carefully set her shakuhachi on the ground and sat, waiting.

A sudden burst of water accompanied by a head splitting scream erupted from the lake as the form of a mermaid jumped to the shore, gills and fins flaring, sharp teeth bare, eyes darting around in search of her prey. When she saw a familiar figure, though, her demeanor completely changed.

“Kagerou!” she said, slithering towards the werewolf. “I didn’t know you played flute! I thought it was a monk or something! When did you… oh, are you a’right?”

“Good evening to you too, Princess” Kagerou groaned, splayed flat against the ground, her ears and head still ringing painfully from the mermaid’s screeching.

“Don’t call me that! You knew I don’t like it” her friend said, puffing her cheeks.

Kagerou chuckled as she righted herself up. “Sorry, sorry. Then, good evening, Wakasagihime” she said, with a small bow.

“That’s better. Good evening to you as well!” Wakasagihime waited for her friend to sit down again before lowering her human half near her.

“So, what brought you to the lake tonight? The moon is still waning.”

Kagerou shrugged. “I felt like walking. I had… things on my mind.”

“Not dinner, I hope?” the mermaid said, grinning.

“How many times do I have to say that that was an accident?” Kagerou retorted, blushing.

Wakasagihime laughed, an entrancing melody that made the red on the werewolf’s face intensify. “Until your bite marks fades from my tail!” Kagerou averted her gaze, still embarrassed. Her friend smirked as she got closer and placed her chin on her shoulder. “Awww, don’t be mad! Come on, tell me about your worries…”

Kagerou sighed, and turned to face Wakasagihime. The mermaid’s large eyes stared at her, the dim moonlight reflected on them. Water still clung to the scales on the sides of her face, making their light blue shine. Could a pure-blooded youkai understand what it was like, to not know the purpose of one’s life? Their whole reason to be was instinctually known to them; indeed, to not know it would lead to their deaths, or worse.

“Say Hime… What did you do before you came to Gensokyo?

Wakasagihime cocked her head.

“What all mermaids do! Sing, collect nice rocks, eat fish, avoid being’ eaten… uh…” She blushed a little. “Se… seduce sailors…”

Kagerou raised an eyebrow and chuckled.

“Oh my, did you seduce many sailors out there?”

“Shu-shush it! I-I-I, well, I didn’t have much choice, you know!” The mermaid sulked, puffing her still rosy cheeks. “It’s weird. Ever since I arrived here, it feels weird to remember… those times. Like it was another life. Another, uh… me.”

“Really? Do you feel… less like a mermaid?”

“Oh no! I’m definitely still a mermaid!” Wakasagihime giggled. ”I sing, I collect baubles, I avoid being eaten…”

“…you seduce sailors?” Kagerou said, with a mischievous tone.

“There ain’t any sailors here! And I don’t feel like I’d be doing that even if there were.” The mermaid huffed. “But I’m still a youkai, yes? I still do what I should do. And I feel fine, so I’m doing it right!”

“Right…”

Kagerou turned her eyes towards the lake for a few moments. As she thought, there was never any doubt in Wakasagihime’s mind on what her life meant. It was a simple, pre-determined existence over which there could be little variation… or escape.

‘ _I wonder… that doesn’t really seem much better than not knowing the purpose of your own life… although she does seem content with it, I guess…_ ’

“Why do you ask, Kagerou? That has something to do with what’s bugging you?”

”A-ah, no, no!” Kagerou hastily said, turning back to Wakasagihime. “I was just… wondering about, uh… life, and meaning, and whatnot.”

“That’s a weird thing to wonder about! Your human side is showing!” The mermaid said, giggling.

“P-perhaps, yes…”

Wakasagihime’s eyes glistened with amusement, but a tiny frown on her brow indicated that she was genuinely confused as to why Kagerou would bother with such thoughts.

“S-so…” Kagerou started, after a few moments of silence. ”Did you, uh… get any new rocks for your collection?”

This seemed to distract the mermaid enough. “Oh! Wait here, I’ll go grab my box! There’s soooo many pretty new pebbles that I found!”

With one powerful jump, Wakasagihime disappeared beneath the waters of the lake, splashing the rims of Kagerou’s dress with water.

The werewolf stared at the spot where her friend had disappeared a few minutes before, in deep thought. ‘ _I really shouldn’t have bothered her about this. I don’t feel like confusing her mind with stupid nonsense like that… ugh. Why couldn’t that stupid Honshu werewolf have bitten my mom? I’d having been born a full youkai then… er, I think. I’m still not sure on how this stuff works. Maybe I’d be one third youkai? Because my father was still human? Maybe both would have to be bitten. Then I’d be born… 2/4 youkai? Uh. That’s still half youkai. Right? Grr. I should’ve paid more attention during math class. Gods, this doesn’t make any—“_

Kagerou yelped as another loud splash of water signaled the return of Wakasagihime, who displayed a bright and cheerful smile as she brought a large, ornamented box to shore.

“C’mere, c’mere! I got, like, twenty more since the last time I showed ’em to you!” Kagerou walked over to where her friend had placed the box. The mermaid had already opened it and was busy ruffling through the countless little treasures in there. The smell of salty water that still clung to the box filled Kagerou’s nose as she closed in, an enchanted remnant from when Wakasagihime lived in the oceans of the Outside world.

“Look at this beautiful nugget of gold I found buried next to the entrance of my cave!” she said, as she held a coin sized mass of the bright yellow mineral. “It must’ve been washed down here from the Genbu Marsh; I think I heard that the kappa got hold of a large stock of these for one of their projects. Oh, and look at this little red agate! Look how round it is, it must’ve travelled from so far before reaching the lake here—“

There were many beautiful stones in that small box, but Kagerou’s gaze was concentrated elsewhere. Wakasagihime’s face showed pure joy as she rummaged through her collection, grabbing a rock and starting to explain the history behind her acquisition of it before a sideways glance would make her notice another, more interesting pebble, which she would proceed to snatch and talk about in an even more excited tone, water flying from her hair as she moved her head from side to side. ‘ _Do I ever look like this, when I talk? I don’t think I have ever demonstrated such passion about anything in my life_.’ She chuckled a bit as she saw the mermaid gasp and her eyes widen as she saw a large piece of a paper nautilus’ shell in her box. ‘ _Ah… she’s really cute_.’

“— and THIS fragment came from that deep, deep cavern that links the Misty Lake to the ocean of Japan, from which… from where I… uh… am I… boring you, Kagerou?” Wakasagihime asked, a small, hurt smile on her face.

“Oh, not at all. I just got a bit distracted” Kagerou said, a playful smile on her face.

The mermaid frowned. “Uh? By, by what?”

“Hmmm… by your pretty face.”

Wakasagihime’s month opened and closed a few times (‘ _like a fish out of water_ ’ Kagerou thought, suppressing a laugh) before a deep red began spreading through the skin of her face, reaching up to the scales on the sides of her head. Her fins, located where a human’s ears would be, twitched up and down, and the tip of her tail flailed around a few times.

“Wha-wha-what brought THIS up?!” she asked, hiding half of her face behind the sleeves of her kimono.

“Hm, the way you talk about your rocks… and the way you laugh. And the way you sing, too, while we are at it… You look really beautiful, you know” Kagerou said, her voice not much above a whisper. “And I guess I got a bit jealous of those sailors you talked about…”

“Waaaaah! This is, that’s just, how my kind should look!” Wakasagihime said, all but her forehead hidden now. “And and and, what do you mean jealous?!”

“Well, you know… How could I not be jealous of those that got close to such a perfect little mermaid?” Kagerou whispered as she crawled closer and closer to her friend.

“Ah... uh… you… you!”

Suddenly, Wakasagihime lowered her arms and jumped, grabbing Kagerou by her shoulders and pinning her against the ground, taking the breath away from the surprised werewolf.

“You! I will! Show you! Yes, uh! How, how scary mermaids… mermaids can be!” Despite her threat, the stammering youkai just looked helplessly at Kagerou, water dripping from her hair into her friend’s face, as if waiting for something.

The werewolf smirked, eyes half-closed. “Well… go on. Show me.”

Wakasagihime gulped loudly, and lowered her body.

Their lips were merely inches apart when the mermaid stopped, panting, her eyes forced shut. The closeness allowed Kagerou to see each individual freckle on her nose; how the colors of her face faded from the light blue of her scales to the pale pink of her human skin; how her long eyelashes were trembling lightly in anticipation…

‘ _Ah… really cute_ ’ she thought, closing the distance between them herself.

\------------------------------------------

“Uuuugh… are you sure you aren’t full youkai? You are too devious, you know… pretending to be all sad and stuff and then making me get my rocks and then distracting me and then saying, saying those _things_ ” Wakasagihime’s still red cheeks were puffed in annoyance as she slithered to lay by the Kagerou’s side.

“Hmm… yeah, quite sure, Princess” Kagerou said, smirking, as she turned her head to meet her friend (lover?)’s gaze.

“Ahhh, you’re impossible!” The mermaid retorted, nevertheless moving her body closer to Kagerou’s, nuzzling her head on her neck.

“Indeed I am.” She sighed, contently.

Kagerou never really considered her bamboo crafts “art”. The peace that the full moon brought to her mind was but a fleeting feeling. She couldn’t properly relate to humans, her demon blood and own awkwardness preventing any meaningful contact. She couldn’t really understand youkai either, their deterministic lives too alien for her human side to accept.

‘ _But maybe that doesn’t really matter’_ , she thought, as the caressed the webbing between the fingers of the now drowsy mermaid resting on her neck. The ecstatic feeling of her heart pounding hard inside her chest felt like all the meaning she needed to justify her entire life.


End file.
